Once upon a time there was a little girl who loved to dress up in
pretty dresses and make believe that she was someone else. Her friends
would love to come over and play with the little girl’s crowns and
dresses.
“I want to be the princess today!!”
“No, it’s my turn,” they would cry.
“How about we all play that we are princesses,” her mother laughed.
The little girls skipped, danced, and sang. Four little princesses in their pretty dresses, crowns, and gloves.
As time went by, the little girl’s friends stopped coming to play. Other things began to become more important and their need to feel pretty slowly changed from putting on tiaras to applying makeup and wearing short skirts. All her friends began to do their hair and wear heels while the little girl who had the pretty dresses continued to make believe.
“Why live in a world where people judge you on your REAL appearance when you can make believe you are the prettiest girl in the world, ” she said to herself. “I would rather dress up in wings and be a faerie than put on heels to impress the boys.”
Soon, the little girl became a teenager, and all of her friends began to notice that she did not want to play with them. This girl was different, they all said. She would go straight home after school and create fantastic stories in her room. She would play video games where she could be anyone she wanted; she would dress up her dolls and make movies and put on shows.
The
other girls became more and more evil to her at school. They would make
up stories about the girl; they would mock her and say that she was
fat. The girl began to dread being in the real world. She discovered
that eating made her feel better and every day would go home and fill
her stomach - in turn filling the void that was in her heart.
The girl began to gain weight and the pretty dresses and crowns were replaced with large t-shirts and baggy jeans. Although she continued to perform and make believe, her real life world was turning against her more and more. The girl fell into a deep depression; she began to cover up the mirrors at her house. She started eating unhealthy and using medication to make herself sick. Every night, she turned to her video games, books and dolls to get away from the tortured world around her.
Years later, the girl had turned into a woman. Once she had become independent and left the town that she grew up in, she began to clearly see what she had been doing to her body! She wanted to be that princess again and set out to find others who WOULD understand where she was coming from.
She thought that in order to relate to the girls around her, she would have to be more like them. She worked hard and shed the weight she had gained. She began dressing more provocatively and wearing make up. She worked hard on her image and made it a point to let people see how she had changed.
“Look! I am just like you. Please accept me and let’s be friends!”
After years and years, people began to take the girl seriously. They invited her to parties. They liked her funny personality; she was finally starting to get noticed. Though she had become a butterfly, nothing had changed in the girl’s soul. She was the same little girl who loved to play video games and dress up in pretty things. She simply painted her face more and watched what she ate and now … the world was at her feet.
One
day, she looked around and noticed that the little girls who had made
fun of her were beginning to dress up and play video games like her.
They, too, were getting attention. A lot of attention. In fact, they
were becoming quite famous because they had spent years and years
learning how to walk, to dress and to bring attention to themselves.
Suddenly, the girl was no longer as popular. The girls from her past,
once again, were more important than she was … and now they were more
important doing the things that they always mocked her for.
The girl began to panic. She began to turn back to the horrid thoughts she use to have as a teenager. Mean people began to mock her and call her names. They picked apart every last one of her flaws and told her she wasn’t pretty enough to be on the same level as these other girls. They put up websites just for the sheer joy of humiliating girls like her. And the girl began to hurt herself again.
She turned back to her old ways and once again, she was sad. The words that she had read stung hard. She knew her faults, but for others to point them out … To no longer see her as special but see her as average again was painful after she had given up so much to fit in. She had been herself all this time. The only thing that had changed was her painted face and high heels. For years, the girl had only wanted to fit in and now, even with her painted face and high heels - she was now lost once again …
TO BE CONTINUED ……
Well, I’m sure you are wondering where this all comes from! Recently, I’ve been noticing a trend on the internet of people intentionally going out of their way to cast a shadow or mock those who are simply having fun. Picking EVERYTHING apart. Calling girls fat who may have a bit of cellulite here or an arm flap there. It got me thinking about how words can affect someone. How one little post saying “OMG, thunder thighs!!” could put a human being into a dangerous place.
I
wanted to write this in story form so that people could see how simple
this story really is. For every word that comes flowing from your
fingers onto that anonymous site,
for every evil thing that you write about someone, there is someone
else on the receiving end of that who has to cope with those words.
We forget sometimes that behind that glowing, pixelated monitor is a living, breathing person with feelings. Many of the things that are written online would never be uttered face-to-face. It is simply the anonymity of the internet that allow for this sort of thing to flourish.
Working with the American Eating Disorders Association, I can not put into words how one word affects girls and boys who are already struggling with self-esteem issues. Especially in a culture that sprung from the loins of those who may not have felt that they fit in: those who were more comfortable in their own homes, in a world of make-believe, than out in the world where they were to be judged. Now these same kids have grown up and are being judged in their own sanctuary.
I invite everyone who reads this to really take a moment and think about how your words may affect someone on the other end. Before writing something that is hurtful and harmful, really dig deep down and ask yourself the reasons that you are saying these things.
Let’s help write the end of this little girl’s story.
An ending that resembles the old adage of “Happily Ever After”…
